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Nothing is more important to us than our children — we always try to do what is best for them. 

Of course, we all know this. None of us would disagree. But when two parents are embroiled in a contentious divorce or parenting dispute, it can be easy to forget. So just remember this: What we say about the other parent, in the heat of anger, can cut our children like a knife, and leave lasting wounds.

Here are some words of wisdom, from a Minnesota judge. Although the words were spoken many years ago, they are timeless.

This is what he said:

“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent.  If so, that is your problem and your fault.

No matter what you think of the other party – or what your family thinks of the other party — these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an ‘idiot’ his father is, or what a ‘fool’ his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession.  If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them to pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”

Judge Michael Hass*

Gary Frank is an Arizona Family Law Attorney and a children’s advocate. For many years, he represented children in child abuse and neglect cases in Superior Court. He has been appointed to serve on the Governor’s Child Abuse Prevention Task Force.  He won a Maricopa County Bar Association Volunteer Lawyer of the Month Award for representing a child in a Family Court Custody Action and successfully petitioning to have the case transferred to Juvenile Court, where the child could be protected from her abusive parents. Our law firm focuses on Family Law Matters, including Divorce, contested Custody matters, Parenting Time disputes, Relocation/move-away cases, Enforcement and Modification actions, Child and Spousal Support, Paternity/Maternity, Grandparent and Non-Parent rights, Mediation, and all other matters involving families and children. If you are in need of a consultation to learn about your rights, please call us today at 602-922-9989.  To learn more about our firm, check out our website at www.famlawaz.com. We’d be happy to help you.

*(Source: Huffington Post)


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When dealing with a family matter issue, you do not have to go at it alone. Schedule your comprehensive attorney consultation now and we can discuss the entire case.

Let's Discuss Your Case - We're Here For You.

When dealing with a family matter issue, you do not have to go at it alone. Give us a call and we can discuss the entire case during a comprehensive attorney consultation.

Client Reviews

Very honest

November 2009 I retained Mr. Frank almost two years to represent me in a visitation modification filed by my ex-husband. Mr. Frank quickly and efficiently became familiar with my case and was very honest about all the potential results that could occur. I truly feel that Mr. Frank had my children’s best interests in mind…

– Judy K