“How do I know if my case is high-conflict?”

As Arizona Family Lawyers, this is a question we often get from clients—and it’s a good one. Some couples can separate on good terms and work together quickly and easily to negotiate an end to their relationship, but that scenario is definitely not the norm. Most break-ups (especially those involving children and/or substantial property) are fraught with some degree of fear, anger, and uncertainty, even those that aren’t considered “high-conflict.” But what makes the normal separation different from a high-conflict family law case in Arizona is the magnitude of those feelings and how the parties handle their emotions.

How to Identify a High-Conflict Family Law Case in Arizona

Co-parenting with a former spouse or partner can be difficult, even under the most ideal circumstances. Many factors can complicate child custody arrangements and lead to higher levels of conflict between parents. (The word “Custody” is now referred to in Arizona Family Court as Legal Decision-Making and Parenting Time but in this article, we will use the more familiar term, “custody.”) During a custody battle in Arizona, de-escalation, if it is possible, is the best way to ensure the well-being of the child or children involved.

A Phoenix high-conflict custody attorney at Frank Amar Matura can evaluate your case and identify actions that can be taken—immediately and as you move forward—to protect your parental rights while at the same time reducing conflict and providing a safe, nurturing environment for your child.

What Is Causing Conflict in Your Custody Battle in Arizona?

Many people believe that high-conflict situations are limited to those involving abuse and domestic violence. And while those circumstances are certainly high-conflict, they are only one type and should be considered a special category, since they involve criminal conduct.

A high-conflict family law case is generally one in which divorced or separated parents have an ongoing pattern of intense hostility that includes one or more of the following:

• Arguing, blaming, badmouthing, disrespect, or manipulation;
• Emotional abuse;
• Threatening;
• Alienating the children;
• Using the children as go-betweens;
• Undermining the other parent;
• Making decisions unilaterally without consulting the other parent; and/or
• Repeatedly litigating one dispute after another in court.

When chronic conflict spills over in front of the children, it can cause long-term emotional damage, including anxiety, depression, and problematic relationships even into adulthood.

How a High-Conflict Divorce Plays out in Court

Parents embroiled in a high-conflict relationship often find themselves in ongoing litigation, filing one motion after another asking the judge to intervene and make decisions that the parents could have made themselves had they been able to communicate effectively. It is not unusual to see parents in high-conflict situations coming back to court year after year attempting to modify orders that have already been made.

The ongoing litigation can be very expensive, and the corrosive fear and anger are almost always emotionally draining for the parents, not to mention the psychological toll it takes on the children.

How Courts Manage a High-Conflict Family Law Case in Arizona

There are a number of protocols in the Family Court Division of the Maricopa County Superior Court that are designed to reduce conflict between parents and help judges come to a conclusion regarding legal decision-making and parenting time. For instance, a judge can order parents to attend a high-conflict parenting class that teaches strategies to avoid and/or manage conflict and stresses the need to keep children out of the middle of parental disputes.

The Court can also appoint a Parenting Coordinator to help the parents resolve disputes about decision-making and/or parenting. Sometimes a judge will appoint an expert to interview the parties and children and conduct an evaluation. The evaluator will then make a report and recommendations to the Court. There are various types of evaluations, some more detailed and expensive than others.

The Court can also appoint a Therapeutic Interventionist (TI) to help repair a relationship between the children and a parent, or it can appoint a Court Appointed Behavioral Interventionist (COBI) to assist parents in following the orders of the Court.

These are some of the tools that a Family Court Judge may use to reduce parental conflict and inform the Court’s decision about the best interests of the children. If the conflict cannot be managed and the parties are not able to resolve their dispute, a trial will be scheduled where the parties can present their arguments and evidence, and the judge will make a ruling. The judge’s final order is binding and enforceable, and the parties are expected to follow the terms of that order.

What Parents Can Do to Avoid High-Conflict Litigation

Litigation through the courts can be a lengthy, expensive, and emotionally grueling experience. However, the good news is that there are things parents can do to avoid a high-conflict custody battle.

It starts with managing your emotions. When going through a divorce or a dispute involving children, it is normal to feel anxiety or fear. But when fear morphs into anger, and that anger is not controlled, it can turn a normal disagreement into a high-conflict dispute. Managing emotions is key to keeping things under control.  

When parents are having trouble communicating without angry comments and barbs, it helps to set limits. One way of doing that is to limit your communication to only matters regarding the children’s needs and activities. No discussions about who is to blame for the relationship falling apart; no put-downs of the other parent’s family, their job, or anything else. Just keep it to matters involving the children.

Sometimes the hostility level is too high to be able to have a cordial conversation, in-person or by phone. When that’s the case, it may be best for the parents to limit their communication to only email, or to an app commonly used in Family Court such as Our Family Wizard. Communicating in writing can often lower the level of conflict because the person writing the email has the chance to read it before hitting “send.”

Keep in mind that you don’t have to like the other parent, but for the children’s sake, you do need to be able to communicate effectively, without anger or insults. It may help to view your communication as a business transaction. 

Other Helpful Options in a High-Conflict Family Law Case in Arizona

Some parents find it helpful to attend co-parenting counseling (either together or separately) to be able to reduce conflict or stay on the same page with their decisions regarding the children.

Where the parents are just too far apart and/or have completely different parenting styles, it may help to use a Parallel Parenting approach, where rules, bedtimes, discipline, etc. might be different in both homes but the children can still find consistency, knowing what to expect when they are with their mother, and when they are with their father.

Mediation is always a good option for resolving disputes, even in a high-conflict case. It is considered the peaceful path, but it is also the less expensive and less risky path. Mediation is voluntary and confidential. The mediator in a Family Law context is typically an experienced family law attorney, a behavioral health specialist, or a retired Superior Court Judge.

The mediator is not acting as a judge (even if she/he was one), and they have no power to impose a settlement or make you agree to anything. Rather, the mediator is there to assist the parties in negotiating and arriving at their own resolution of the issues in dispute. They can help the parties settle issues involving parenting time and decision-making, dividing property and debts, and other matters.

You can also have your attorney with you at the mediation if you choose. The mediation process takes anywhere between a half-day to a few days (in rare cases). If, by the end of the process, the parties are unable to reach a settlement, they are free to return to court and resolve their issues at trial. But keep in mind that mediators are experts at helping parties “come to the middle” and find a fair resolution of their dispute.

In a high-conflict family law case in Arizona, it is crucial for the parenting plan to be structured and very specific, with little or no room for dispute. This may include rules for the following, among others:

• Who makes certain decisions;
• How decisions are made;
• How parents are to communicate;
• Specific days and times when the children are transferred from one house to the other for parenting time exchanges and holidays;
• Who does the transportation for parenting time; and
• Who takes children to doctor appointments.

The more specific the parenting plan, the less chance there will be for future disagreements and disputes. 

A Phoenix High-Conflict Divorce Attorney at Frank Amar Matura Can Help

At the Phoenix law firm of Frank Amar Matura, we are strong courtroom litigators with years of experience in Family Law. We actively work with our clients to reduce the level of conflict and explore peaceful ways to resolve their disputes.

However, if compromise becomes impossible, your high-conflict divorce attorney at Frank Amar Matura will fight aggressively to protect your interests and those of your children.

If you are involved in a high-conflict family law case in Arizona and need a consultation with an Arizona Family Law attorney, please contact us by phone at 602-922-9989 or complete our online contact form.